mywife: I said ok
me: you said ok what?
mywife: to the pool?
me: to what pool?
(from here on out, my wife spoke the back and forth without me saying anything)
mywife: the lady said we can have her pool for free... so i asked her what could we do with the pool.. she said take it home.. i told her it won't fit in the apartment.. she said you can put it in storage.. i said then the water will get disgusting.. she said not if you cover it.. so i said ok...
Can't wait to go to our storage unit and do some laps :)
Monday, May 21, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Get that out of your mouth!!
MyWife: Stop that right now!
me: Stop what?
MyWife: Stop drinking the stir-fry sauce!
me: I'm not drinking anything.
MyWife: I'm serious. Put that down right now. Stir-fry sauce is for food, not drinking alone.
me: Why would I be drinking stir-fry sauce?
MyWife: I don't know why you would be, but please stop
me: What about Jack Daniel's BBQ Sauce?
MyWife: Just grab some orange juice if you are that thirsty!
me: Stop what?
MyWife: Stop drinking the stir-fry sauce!
me: I'm not drinking anything.
MyWife: I'm serious. Put that down right now. Stir-fry sauce is for food, not drinking alone.
me: Why would I be drinking stir-fry sauce?
MyWife: I don't know why you would be, but please stop
me: What about Jack Daniel's BBQ Sauce?
MyWife: Just grab some orange juice if you are that thirsty!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Snoozing can be Deadly
MyWife: Don't snooze your alarm!!
me: Why not? I set the alarm early on purpose..
MyWife: Dont't snooze it. You're going to get hurt!
me: I know work gets upset when I am late, but I don't think they would get violent.
MyWife: No. If you snooze it, the motorcycle will run you over
WTF!!
me: Why not? I set the alarm early on purpose..
MyWife: Dont't snooze it. You're going to get hurt!
me: I know work gets upset when I am late, but I don't think they would get violent.
MyWife: No. If you snooze it, the motorcycle will run you over
WTF!!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
X-Ray Vision
MyWife: Quick! Get a knife!
me: Why do I need a knife?
MyWife: There's 2 men by the door trying to break in
me: The bedroom door is open and there's no one there.
MyWife: Not the bedroom door. The front door.
me: You can't see the front door from bed. What are you saying?
MyWife: I'm telling you. They are there and gonna rob us blind!!
Guess the contact she forgot to take out before going to sleep afforded her X-Ray vision!
me: Why do I need a knife?
MyWife: There's 2 men by the door trying to break in
me: The bedroom door is open and there's no one there.
MyWife: Not the bedroom door. The front door.
me: You can't see the front door from bed. What are you saying?
MyWife: I'm telling you. They are there and gonna rob us blind!!
Guess the contact she forgot to take out before going to sleep afforded her X-Ray vision!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Sports Bras Can Help You Lose Weight!!
MyWife: Did you put the sports bra on?
me: Why would I put a sports bra on? I know I am gaining weight, but my chest has not gotten there yet!
MyWife: Not on your chest. You need to put it around your stomach.
me: My chest?
MyWife: Yes. If you put on a sports bra around your stomach and wear it overnight, you lose at least 400 calories while your sleeping.
Must be the secret celebrity diet no one wants to talk about! ;)
me: Why would I put a sports bra on? I know I am gaining weight, but my chest has not gotten there yet!
MyWife: Not on your chest. You need to put it around your stomach.
me: My chest?
MyWife: Yes. If you put on a sports bra around your stomach and wear it overnight, you lose at least 400 calories while your sleeping.
Must be the secret celebrity diet no one wants to talk about! ;)
Monday, January 9, 2012
Birds have Children
My Wife: Stop! Stop!
me: Stop what?
My Wife: Stop throwing the birds. You are killing them... They have children they need to take care of..
me: Stop what?
My Wife: Stop throwing the birds. You are killing them... They have children they need to take care of..
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